Toddler Nighttime Anxiety and Fears

Bedtime fears and anxiety can be very common in young children.

And while it may seem like they’re afraid of sleep itself, it’s often the thought of being alone in their room that feels scary.

As toddlers grow and develop, so does their imagination. What may begin as a fear of the dark can quickly turn into worries about shadows, noises, or “something” in their room.

Young children are very literal thinkers, and it can be difficult for them to separate what’s real from what’s pretend. Something they see in a book, on TV, or even hear in conversation can suddenly feel very real to them at bedtime.

You may notice your child seems completely fine during the day, but once the lights go out and the house quiets down, their fears become much more noticeable. Their imagination can take over, making their room feel very different at night.

Big life changes can also contribute to bedtime anxiety and disrupted sleep. Moving house, starting daycare or school, welcoming a new sibling, transitioning to a big bed, or changes in family routines can all affect how secure a child feels at bedtime.

When children are feeling anxious at night, you may notice:

• They attempt to delay bedtime.

• Wake frequently overnight, especially in the second half of the night

  • This is because in the second half of the night, they are spending more time in lighter, REM sleep, when dreams occur.

  • Furthermore, as nighttime progresses, their sleep pressure is lower as it gets closer to morning time. Meaning when they wake, it can be harder for them to fall back to sleep.

• Call out for you.

• Needing extra reassurance at bedtime and overnight.

Nightmares vs. Night Terrors

Night Terrors

Night terrors usually happen in the first half of the night during deep sleep. Your child may cry, sit up, move around, or appear frightened, but they are not fully awake.

As upsetting as they can be to witness, children typically do not remember them the next day. Trying to calm them during a night terror often doesn’t help because they are still partially asleep.

Trying to wake them too is not recommended. Instead, remain with them and if needed, use a calm voice to try and re-direct them back to sleep.

Nightmares

Nightmares are more common in the second half of the night during REM sleep. Unlike night terrors, your child is awake or starting to wake when they cry out.

They may remember parts of the dream—or at least remember feeling scared—and can struggle to understand that it wasn’t real, making it harder to fall back asleep.

How You Can Help

Look at their room through their eyes

Sit in their bedroom in the dark and notice what they might be seeing. Shadows, lights, noises, or even certain toys can feel scary at night.

Talk about their fears during the day

Avoid having big conversations about fears right before bed. Instead, bring it up casually during calm moments like colouring, playing, or driving in the car.

If they don’t want to talk about it, don’t force it. Sometimes children need time before opening up.

Help their bedroom feel safe and familiar

Encourage your child to spend time playing in their bedroom during the day. If their room is only associated with sleep or separation, it may not feel like a comforting space.

Be mindful of what they watch or hear

Young children absorb far more than we realize. Even shows, books, or conversations that seem harmless to adults can trigger bedtime fears.

Consider Their Sleep Schedule

Could they be undertired?

If your child isn’t tired enough at bedtime—perhaps due to too much daytime sleep or an early bedtime—they may spend longer awake in bed, giving their imagination more opportunity to take over.

Could they be overtired?

Overtired children often struggle more at bedtime and overnight. If your child has recently dropped a nap, make sure they still have opportunities to rest and recharge during the day.

Supportive Bedtime Habits

Keep bedtime routines predictable

Children thrive on consistency. A calm, familiar bedtime routine helps them feel safe and secure.

It also creates valuable one-on-one connection time, which can be incredibly reassuring before sleep.

Create a calm environment before bed

Try to avoid screens for at least 60 minutes before bedtime. Blue light can affect melatonin production, and stimulating content can worsen fears and anxiety.

Giving your child time to unwind quietly before bed can make a huge difference.

Comfort items can help

A favorite blanket or stuffed animal can provide reassurance and comfort overnight.

Safety reminder:

• Avoid items with loose buttons, ribbons, or small parts

• Babies under 12 months should not have loose items in their sleep space

• Weighted blankets are not recommended for sleep

Nightlights & Toddler Clocks

A soft nightlight can help reduce fear of the dark. Warm red or yellow lights are best, as blue-toned lights may interfere with melatonin production.

Toddler clocks can also help children understand when it’s time to stay in bed and when it’s okay to get up.

Some children also feel reassured hearing parents nearby. Leaving the bedroom door slightly open can help them feel connected and secure.

Reassure Without Reinforcing the Fear

Acknowledge your child’s fears or concerns in a calm and supportive way, without reinforcing them. Focus on providing reassurance and helping them feel safe and secure.

You might say:

• "I understand that your room can look very different at night compared to during the day. The dark can make things seems different but know that your room has not changed".

• "Mama and dadda are close by and we can still hear you while we are sleeping. If you need us, we are here for you".

• Explain to them why we need darkness to sleep...it helps our bodies rest. And if it was really bright, we wouldn't be able to sleep.

  • Make it fun and remind them that even all the animals sleep at night.

While “monster spray” (or something similar) may seem comforting, it can unintentionally send the message that monsters might actually be real. For children, they may not understand why you are telling them their fears aren't real yet using a special object/behaviour to keep them away.

Final Thoughts

Bedtime fears are a normal part of childhood development, and for many children, they come and go in phases. With patience, reassurance, consistency, and support, most children gradually outgrow these fears and become more confident at bedtime.

If you’re concerned your child’s sleep difficulties may be related to illness, anxiety, or worsening sleep patterns, I strongly recommend speaking with your GP or healthcare provider.